11th Doctor x Self harm! reader: Wash it all away
by The Teapot of Fandoms
Summary: WARING, PLEASE DON' READ IF TRIGGERED VERY EASY! You are very much loved my dears, and feel free to talk to me. Thank you m-j98 !
~Note: Thank you m-j98, I hope you like it! ~

You and The Doctor where in the T.A.R.D.I.S. He was busy with looking for god knows what, you where in such a good mood when all of the sudden you felt it. You felt the two things you hated from your human self. Your depression and your urge. The urge that left your body like a battlefield. The urge that left you many nights feeling like someone just pour lemon onto a paper cut all over you body. Though this was not a paper cut, and there was now lemon juice. You looked around, went to your room and found your secret, small wooden box. You then slid it into your pocket. On your way to do your bad bidding, you ran into The Doctor.

" Oh, (name)! I am so sorry! I was wo- hey, wait, where are you off to?"

He said with the familiar, wondering in his eyes that where bright like a million suns but had a slight darkness behind all those suns. You put on the fake smile you where so use to.

" Oh, I am just going to go take a shower, I'll be out soon."

You gently patted 11th's shoulder as he raised his brow then smiled and nodded, grabbing a near by book and started to mumble to himself.

You turned on the shower, pulled out the box you had in your pocket, and slid off your clothes. You where now only wearing your underwear and bra. You then slowly walked over to the door and locked it. You then sat down next to the tub, and felt the light sprinkle of the shower water being bounced off of the bottom of the tub. You then slowly picked up the silver blade. You stared at it as you about how many times this blade had been your ' friend" to you when no one else seemed to have been. You then started to cry as bad thoughts and memories flooded your mind, clouding the part of your mind that screamed at you not to cut yourself. You then made the first of many slices. You inner arms then smiled back at you with a slow, bloody filled one. You then made another slice.

 _ **Slice..**_

 _ **Slice..**_

 _ **Slice….**_

Time had passed. You had been in the " shower" for a long time. Making The Doctor worry, so he then grabbed freshly cleaned towels and headed to the bathroom. You where now bleeding out slowly, but not enough to cause any damage to the point of going to the ER. You where a cutter, but you where smart about it. You where so caught up in your own thoughts you didn't hear The Doctor speak to you through the door.

" Hey, I brought some clean towels! I know you humans like long showers for some reason, so may I come in?"

He waited a minute with no answer from you.

" Hey, (Name)? You ok?"

No answer. He felt his hearts start to beat fast and his worry took over.

" (Name) I'm coming in, please be covered or have the curtain not open, ok?"

You then snapped out of it as he went to open the door, you then heard him try to open the door but it was locked. That was when he pulled out the screwdriver. His once bright, beautiful filled eyes where now wide with the many thoughts that where running through his head. With a quick wipe over the door, he opened it as you gasped. He then walked in slightly smiling and holding to towels.

" Sorry, I just saw the door was locked a-"

He dropped both the towels and the Sonic screwdriver at the scene he saw before him. You felt your tears fall down your cheeks, you hand bloody, along with the razor, and so was your body now. You tried to form words but all that came out was a soft _" I'm sorry, Doctor."_ He then quickly walked over to you, took the razor away from you slowly. He then slowly looked u and down your body that was slightly bloody but also covered in many different but old scars. He then slowly covered his mouth as he started to feel the salty sting form around his eyes. He then turned his head and looked into your eyes.

" I-I doesn't understand why you would do this. You don't. You shouldn't do this to yourself."

" It's because I am a sad excuse for a human, I am ugly, worthless, alone, and more, Doctor. It's something you wouldn't really understand."

He shook his head and he gently cupped your face, locking his eyes with yours once again.

" (Name), you are not, or ever will be any of those things you say you are. As for the alone part. You have me." He then placed a gentle, soothing kiss on top of your head before he got up and got the emergency kit. He then took the razor blade, and threw it out, he turned around and bent down, holding up the small kit, smiling weakly but understanding at you.

" May I help you?.."

You nodded as he began to patch you up. As he did so he told you he beautiful you are, and brave. How no matter what world you where on or where ever you where. He would always be there with you. He then gave you the key to the T.A.R.D.I.S, so that you would always feel safe. Once he was down he then helped you up, you got dressed, and then he walked you into the main control room. He then made you sit down in a comfy chair. He made you some warm, peppermint tea, with some freshly made scones with jam and cream. He then kneeled in front of you, took your hands into his soft, pale like, ones, and smiled up at you. The smile that always seemed to make everything ok. He then gently kissed your kneels and looked back up at you.

" When ever you feel like harming yourself, or you feel depressed, just clutch the key and I'll come running to you, ok? Also.. Have this. I want to practice something with you as well."

He then slid off his scratchy but red-ish purple bowtie. He then gently wrapped it around your wrist.

" Now, I will give this to you."

Your eyes widened as you went to protest but he cut you off.

" Can you carry this with you? So that whenever you have the urge, you tie the bowtie around your wrist and think of three good things about yourself ok? Or think of are good times together. For you are my companion and I need you. Ok? You are not a star, but a sun or moon to me, (Name.)"

You blushed lightly as you then pulled The Doctor into a hug. You also smiled softly as he hugged you back tightly but carefully.

" Thank you, Doctor, you are my savoir."

" No.."

He pulled back and slowly smiled wide as he laughed gently, shaking his head softly.

" You are mine, you teach me that I can be strong too."


End file.
